Still Life In White: Oblivion


a trace of something in the road……….smack dab & lax
………………………a mask……….a bone……….a drinking cup

what the dead mean when the dead speak………. that hovering………. or teetering
………………………ermine & all the albinos……… farm boys & lab-hatched mice

that memory of my two Heidi braids as I rode up Main Street on my bike
……….that space between my face & the book on my lap in the den

my knees……..my fingers……………….the moon……..the moon……..the night

that space between me & the wall……..me & the street…….. me & the pool underwater
…………………..even my exuberance was white………………every sob & wallow

even my ignorance was white………………my ignorance most especially

ignorance the color of darkness hiding…..me under a branch like a bent leaf
……..me under the swing in the yard behind the house with my thumb in my mouth

or me under the yard…..like Persephone……..as if death could be white

since they said us girls must float…………since we were white
……..I remember the slave houses……….. they were Bed & Breakfasts

free juice & coffee……king beds & linen sheets……..cubed pineapples from Mexico
……..fine slices of cantaloupe……….shadow after shadow

this was in Virginia…… where I was born & raised…..in two old houses
with very little insulation…….. champagne…… in a glass…… on the patio

……..white bloom……………….on its branch…………..in a vase

houses made of bricks made & laid by slaves…………bricks like smoke under the eaves

haunting all the houses……….in the village………….. in school & out
……..us girls like moths…………………. like motherfucking ninnies

under the trees beside the houses……..in cotton frocks…….. white cedar & black walnut

it actually made no difference…. which tree it was…..in that brutal backcountry
………………….where we all twirled……to glisten…….& sleep

I’m saying we floated like airborne litter……..like on-the-brink vagabonds
……..when we fluffed our quilts…….. & laid them down in the glassy yards

& emptied our bags……for Virginia Slims…….. & cherry lip gloss

our Virginia Woolf……& whichever Bronte……..our baby oil & Coppertone
……..to try & become that darker white…………..of oiled brass

I’m saying fuck you America……………….fuck you Cosmo at the A & P

fuck you Elizabeth Montgomery…………..& fuck me most especially
……..since oblivion is white…………………& money is money……& money is white

& we wanted to be pretty….our arms & legs & faces……so dark the deer would lick us–