Blackbeard preferred theater to violence,
slow matches tied under his hat creating
a fiery fiend. Many enemies gave up
before a sword was drawn.
A combination of myopia and mist
fueled numerous reports of akephaloi,
headless men, eyes supposedly
planted in their chests.
Similarly, manatees
were transformed into mermaids.
Schylla and Charybdis likely came
from piles of rock.
Who hasn’t made something
more fearsome
by seeing it misshapen, far away?
Mostly, though, distortions serve us,
offer comfort like the grey lump on my bed
I mistook for a heaven-sent cat
but was really a pile of laundry,
or misheard lyrics recasting The Runaways
as royal, not just the more common wild, girls,
Jimi Hendrix making space
for all the queer kids when he sang
Excuse me while I kiss this guy.