Dennis Kaplan

If I Were the Devil (Redux)

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Preface

In 1965, the late Radio Hall of Fame broadcaster, Paul Harvey, aired a commentary titled, “If I Were the Devil.” Conservative that he was, Harvey’s devil would have set out to undermine civilization by supplanting faith with science, promoting sexual content on TV, and evicting God from the courthouse. You can hear the full commentary at:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LWPcEo2gV0 . I recommend that you do so for the self-serving reason that the experience of reading my own version will be greatly enhanced if you can keep Paul Harvey’s resounding voice and idiosyncratic rhythms somewhere in mind as you read.

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Now What?

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Well, you did it, America. You just filled the presidency with a man who felt it necessary to inform the public about the size of Arnold Palmer’s penis.

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Harmon Killebrew

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The other night I learned what sui generis meant.
And then: schadenfreude.
I even felt schadenfreude when the Republicans couldn’t elect a speaker.

I looked into Marjorie Taylor Greene’s eyes: cold, vacant, hateful, ignorant.
Then I traded her for an outfielder who could also pitch.
……a throwback.

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Ten Things to Expect If Trump Wins

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1. JFK to be renamed Trump International. By the time this takes effect, other airports will have been similarly renamed, along with their associated IATA codes. As this may create an elevated risk of baggage transport errors, carry-ons are recommended.

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Some Thoughts on Trump

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The author wrote this post last month, before last Thursday’s debate, but his movement of mind is not only not out of time, it chimes with Cong. Jamie Raskin’s bracing clarities in a Q&A yesterday…
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It’s a familiar trope of old horror films. Everyone is aware of the fanged entity creeping up on the heroine, except the femme fatale herself. You might be tempted to point, or even scream “Behind you!” But, of course, you won’t be heard.

There is something strangely analogous to that frustration – not being heard – which might strike a chord with those who have tried to express their misgivings about Trump to those of other persuasions.

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